A great letter of recommendation can be the difference between getting the job and getting passed over. But asking for one feels awkward to most people. It doesn’t have to. With the right approach, asking for a recommendation is a natural part of building professional relationships.
Why It Matters
Employers want to hear from people who have worked with you firsthand. A compelling letter from the right person adds credibility to everything on your resume and gives hiring managers confidence that you’re the real deal.
Step 1: Choose the Right Person The best recommenders are people who know your work well and can speak specifically to your strengths. A direct manager, a senior colleague, a professor, or a mentor are all strong choices. A famous name who barely knows you is worth far less than a less prominent person who can speak in detail about your contributions.
Step 2: Ask Early Give your recommender at least two to three weeks — ideally more. Asking at the last minute puts them in an uncomfortable position and usually results in a generic, rushed letter.
Step 3: Ask in Person or by Phone A recommendation request deserves more than an email. Ask face-to-face or over the phone when possible. It shows respect for their time and makes it easier for them to say yes genuinely.
Step 4: Make It Easy for Them When they agree, send them everything they need — the job description, your updated resume, key accomplishments you’d love them to mention, and the submission deadline. The easier you make it, the better the letter will be.
Step 5: Give Them an Out Always say something like “I completely understand if you’re too busy or don’t feel comfortable.” This gives them permission to decline gracefully — and ensures that the people who say yes are genuinely enthusiastic about recommending you.
Step 6: Follow Up and Say Thank You Send a reminder a week before the deadline. And no matter what happens with the job, send a handwritten thank-you note afterward. It’s a small gesture that people remember.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Asking someone you haven’t been in touch with for years without reconnecting first
- Giving your recommender no context about the role or what to emphasize
- Forgetting to follow up — recommenders are busy and deadlines slip
- Never updating your recommender on the outcome
Quick Tips
- Keep a running list of people who could recommend you — don’t wait until you need one
- Stay in touch with potential recommenders even when you’re not job hunting
- LinkedIn recommendations are a great complement to formal letters
- A thank-you gift like a coffee or a handwritten note goes a long way
The right recommendation from the right person can open doors that your resume alone cannot. Invest in your professional relationships now and they’ll pay dividends throughout your career.